Review: d-capitatrix

28 Jun, 2011

Title:d-capitatrix
Platform: iOS / Mac (reviewed on iPad)
Developer: Gamesmold
TL;DR: If d-capitatrix was a golf-club, I’d be asked to leave
Family Friendly? Click here for more information.

As a simple pick-up-and-play puzzle game that’s both quirky and enjoyable, d-capitatrix delivers in spades. With clean, sharp graphics, a carefully crafted score and generally agreeable puzzles that properly test your skill and timing, what’s not to love?

Yet the premise …? To be honest, I don’t know where to begin about the premise.

But first things first; let’s cover the basics. If you’ve played a Gamesmold game before – or indeed, any Angry Birds-esque puzzler – the interface should be familiar enough; the game is split into three sets of levels and, to progress, you need to complete each one until you work your way through and complete the set. To do this, you must reattach the severed heads of a bevy of cybernetic beauties. Trouble is, the heads are lolling around in bricked-up rooms and the only way to obtain them is to utilise a combination of your wits and wormhole portals by way of logic-thinking, puzzle-solving and touch-tilt physics.

If you’ve played the Portal series, this’ll all look very familiar. By placing the portals in the right place, balancing weights and counter-balances just so, and sometimes shooting the severed projectiles at the right angle, your aim is to collect discarded battery cells to enable you to attach the severed head. The further you progress into the game the trickier it all becomes, eventually requiring you to navigate the heads through traps and flamepits and God knows what else before you’re able to re-attach your cyber cranium.

And it’s all very enjoyable. As a portal-in-your-pocket substitute, d-capitatrix is as good as it gets. Whilst it’s inevitable you’ll occasionally find yourself scratching your head in confusion (or frustration), the game is rarely so frustrating that you feel the urge to give up, and there’s an excellent balance of the different puzzle devices and objects to keep you hooked without getting boring or irritating.

All this, and yet I still can’t bring myself to universally recommend it. There’s just one thing silly, seemingly inconsequential aspect dragging the whole thing down.

Putting aside the unashamed similarities to Valve’s spectacular Portal series, the palpable sexiness of the female cyborgs is as pointless as it is perplexing. While we’re undeniably – if begrudgingly – accustomed to the “sex sells” motif in contemporary gaming, in d-capitatrix this seems to serve no purpose whatsoever. From the hip-wiggling load screen to the seemingly lazy play on words of the title, it feels as though the game is trying too hard to be something it neither needs to be nor wants. As it stands, I feel alienated by the Boys Clubs premise and underwhelmed by the sluggish narrative; if this game was a golf club, I suspect I’d be forced to drink in a separate bar.

Which is a shame really. Everything that makes this game a success – the graphics, the score, the excellent touch-tilt physics, the clever puzzle design – would be just as successful without the faux flirtiness.

The Good
Great HD graphics and excellent accompanying soundtrack
Game is easy to play from the outset for almost all ages

The Bad
At just 30 levels, the game is short and lacks replayability
The “sexy” bots are both unnecessary and perplexing
There’s not quite enough variation throughout the game – with some levels are maddeningly complex

Family Focus
Parental Perspective: Vikki is the mother of a seven-year-old who spends much of her life juggling home, work, parenthood and a love of gaming – although not always in that order. She is constantly searching for the perfect family game that she and her son can play together and both completely enjoy.

Technically, there’s nothing here that puts your kids at the R-rated mercy of d-capitatrix. The game – whilst perhaps a little too perplexing for the smallest minds – is clear of bad language and violence (well, if you overlook the decapitated robot heads), and sex too, if you can make your peace with the hip-wiggling protagonists.

However, the difficulty ramps up as you advance through the game, so you may find your kids occasionally hitting a wall. Literally.

Kid Kritique: Sam is the aforementioned seven-year-old with a burgeoning love of video games, particularly sports and action games and titles based on his favourite costume-wearing superheroes. He loves SpongeBob, Doctor Who and Tottenham Hotspur Football Team.

Although Sam has had some help typing and formatting his contribution, the words and thoughts below are entirely his own and have been transcribed without interference.

I did really like playing this game. At the beginning the game was fun and easy and I was moving the batteries and heads everywhere – it was really fun! But the game did get kind of hard after the first few levels, and I got fed up when I was stuck. I don’t like asking my Mum to help as I like to do it on my own.

This is a good game to play for a bit but I think there are better games made just for kids that would be better for me!