What’s that coming over the hill?
Well, here we go again. With Far Cry 5 and those loveable scamps from Eden’s Gate just around the corner, it seems that yet another invasion on American soil is about to kick off. So, in the hopes that we can learn something from history, here are six times America was invaded, according to videogames – you should really expect spoilers for all the games that appear on this list, so if you see one you haven’t played yet skip it.
A lot of people would say that it’s the Vox who set the coup in Columbia in motion during the early stages of Bioshock Infinite, and to those people – you’re wrong. Why? Well, Columbia seceded – so their little transgression can’t really count as an invasion on America.
But, skip a few hours of the game, to where Booker can’t quite rescue Elizabeth in time, and you see the grand plan of Comstock come to fruition. Using Elizabeth and the full might of Columbia, Comstock launches a full on assault on New York City, complete with bomb-dropping zeppelins, and, well… the city in flames.
We don’t know how Comstock’s invasion unfolds after the first bombs drop, because Booker – very unhelpfully for us – goes back and saves the timeline with Elizabeth. But, I have a feeling that in that alternate timeline, Comstock’s regime most likely prospered for a thousand golden years… Long live Comstock! (Hopefully he can hear me and realises I’m definitely on his side.)
Call of Duty: Ghosts
If Canada is supposed to be the goody-goody younger brother of the USA, then surely South America has to be the cooler, anti-establishment older sibling – or estranged twin – of the United States. And that’s certainly the feeling you get when, after a fairly All-American day out at the start of Call of Duty: Ghosts, where you sit in the woods with your father and brother Hesh.
Pretty much immediately after this family bonding time, you find yourselves in the middle of an invasion from the South American Federation, who’ve got their hands on a… space ray gun? And are now systematically blowing up American cities.
The rest of the game sees the two bothers, Logan and Hesh (seriously, those are their names) work as part of a rag-tag group of American freedom fighters who presumably shoot freedom bullets. Also, the “No Man’s Land,” is surrounded by a giant wall that we’re all pretty sure the South American Federation definitely paid for.
Homefront Revolution isn’t a good game – it’s not even an okay game. But amidst the terribleness of it all was one clear message: Don’t Mess With ‘Murica. This message is made abundantly clear after the country is invaded by North Korea in perhaps the most diabolically easy invasion there’s been in videogames.
For no real reason whatsoever, America decided to buy every kind of infrastructure from North Korea, with their defence systems among them. So, when everyone realised too late that everything they’ve bought from North Korea came with a kill switch that only they had access to, it was a simple hop and a skip from the North Koreans to rock up on American shores and implement an oppressive regime.
Without any hi-tech gizmos to aid your mission of liberation, it’s up to what has to be most dim-witted group of revolutionaries to take back their country. These include a boyband-esque leader who gets caught immediately, a psychotic woman who wants to cut off your nipples, and a group of generic foot soldiers who have to remind each other not to let North Korean soldiers into their secret safe houses… we’re… we’re not going to win, are we?
Wolfenstein 2: New Colossus
“What if’s,” are fairly common in videogames, and among the plethora of alternate explorations we’ve had, there’s few more harrowing and banal as the Nazi-occupied America of Wolfenstein 2: New Colossus.
Offering up a sobering picture of what fear can do, the Roswell segment of the game sees B.J. Blazkowicz strolling through the iconic city as it throws a parade for its Nazi occupiers. Said parade also comes with KKK members showing off their terrible grasps of the German language to a Nazi officer. Add to that a scene with a Nazi and a milkshake that rivals the opening scene of Inglorious Basterds, and you’ve checked all the boxes for “Invasion of America complete.”
But don’t worry too much, because pretty much the entire game before and after that eerie scene is spent butchering Nazis and liberating your country in the most kick-ass way possible.
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2
There’s a lot of ways to get people on board with your ideas – a snazzy PowerPoint presentation full of star-wipe transitions is my go-to process. But Vladimir Makarov of Modern Warfare 2 decided to go a different way. Instead of coming up with a three-pronged presentation for invading America, Makarov cooks up some anti-American hysteria with his “No Russian,” operation, where he and some fellow compatriots shot-up an entire airport full of civilians.
This act successfully leads to the invasion of America, with Russian forces overpowering the country with ease, even taking over the delicious and legally distinctive Burger Town – but now where will we chow down on a Burger Town Double… Wooper?
Assassin’s Creed 3
If this list has taught us one thing, it’s that America has a lot of enemies. But, before all the Cold War scares and general paranoia came about, there was one enemy that casued a fair bit of grief. I’m writing – of course – about the ye olde English of Assassin’s Creed 3. These jarringly polite invaders do everything in their power to keep the murmurs of liberation from the American people to a minimum, mostly by killing anyone that wants out of the Empire – or you know, by slaughtering a bunch of Native Americans.
And so, it falls to Connor – the most bland assassin there ever was – to rub shoulders with iconic historical figures, kill key targets, and show up at every historical battle in order to help kick the English out of America once and for all, until those other five invasions take place. But you can’t expect Connor to be boring and quash every invasion in videogame history, okay?!
And there you go, six times America was made to bleed red, white, and blue by invasions in videogames, and all just in time for us to learn a thing or two before Eden’s Gate arrive to shake things up in Hope County. Far Cry 5 arrives on March 27, 2018 for PS4, Xbox One, and PC – and you should expect quite a bit of coverage of the game right here at GGSGamer, so be sure to come back soon to find out how happy we all are with the new team of community enforcement officers we have.